I Want a Dragon


I have to confess something.

I have never watched a single episode of Game of Thrones. Not five minutes of it. Can’t. I cut the cable/satellite subscription years ago. No HBO.

I’ve also never seen a single minute of any Big Brother or Bachelor, lest my eyes would melt out of my head. I mean, it’s cool if that’s your jam, but not me.

Yet lately I have been unable to avoid all of the talk regarding the final, shark/dragon jumping season of GoT. Like the dork that got the prom queen to take off her clothes, Danerys-like, the show runners seemingly have no idea how to finish the deal, or so I have heard.

Which of course caused me to get on the wonderful mind-suck we call YouTube and watch a few clips, and the ones that hooked me?

The Dragons. Especially Drogon. Apparently Dany got some Hatchimals, loved on them, and ended up with three baby dragons who happily incinerate anything or anyone she points at. Like a Westeros 1-800-GoT-Junk.

Now I want one. Man those things are real game changers. Chop off the head of a favorite consul? I’ll roast your town. Your navy? Ashes.

I mean look at this guy.

Hell yes.

It’s interesting how a weapon changes the dynamics of any conflict. You ball up a fist, i have a knife. I have a knife, you get a gun. You get a gun, and I call my @$#@ dragon. Top that.

Really I suppose it’s the idea of total impunity. Total power. There is literally nothing you can do to me, until you take away my power, which in this case is my dragon.

We all look for our metaphorical dragons in life, looking for that slight elevation in power, of control over our own fortunes. Some take that to an extreme and end up, say President, shrieking vile flame breath at outdoor rallies. Or maybe a third-world dictator. But most of us just want to feel that empowerment, for only a moment, that a real dragon might bring.

A quick glance at a handful of YouTube clips about Drogon and I counted nearly 70 million views. Ya’ll love your dragons. Mercy.

Fortunately however, there are no dragons. We, like GoT would burn each other down faster than you can say man that’s hot. The fantasy world remains just that, a fantasy. Something all the critics moaning about the deeper messages in the script could stand to remember.

So I will have no dragon, but that’s ok. My dragon would eat a knight, and that’s not polite.

I’ll just flip on Antiques Roadshow. Also, a fantasy show…..