I am Going to Hit Myself in the Head With a Hammer. And Learn Piano.

That is just not fair, Colorado. From CBS4 in Colorado, Doctors say concert performer Derek Amato is one of the few people in the world to have experienced the rare phenomena called Acquired Savant Syndrome.

So it seems Derek decided to jump into the shallow end of a pool 12 years ago, and rather than being tragically paralyzed or simply renamed “shallow end Derek”, he somehow came away from his injury with the ability to play concert piano. No shit.

Lord, it’s a miracle. He just up and farted in the wind and wait, that is a Shawshank quote. Still, it’s incredible. I mean I spent seven years teaching as an adjunct at a local university and had I known better, we could have just taken steel pipes to the kiddos and saved them tuition.

You know, POW, right in the temple! Hey kid, can you play guitar now? No? What about understand quantum physics? Not that either? Ok, hang on.

WHACK.

Can you speak Spanish? No? POP.

Ok fine I guess we can’t literally beat genius or talent into ourselves, yet. Derek is just one of the blessed few. It is a great story.

Now you will have to excuse me. I’m have to go throw myself off a balcony.